Gum
by Virusitic
Summary: Kid and Crona are on a romantic night out until the evening spirals downward due to a minor inconvenience. Hilarity ensues. Male!Crona, KidxCrona **written by Connor**


**A/N: Yet another one-shot written by Connor!~ Again, she doesn't have an account, so she asked me to post this. And I suppose I should put this somewhere as well: I don't own Soul Eater or any of the characters. That I know of, neither does Connor. **

**Warnings: Male!Crona, Kid being…Kid, fluffier than a two-month-old kitten.**

**Prompt: Gum**

It was a good day for the couple.

It was one of those days where the Reaper was outwardly cuddly and affectionate with Crona, which didn't happen in public very often; at least not quite to the degree he was doing it today. Hand-holding, soft smiles, kisses on his cheeks and lips, and hair kisses were in the norm, but he today he was throwing his arms around his waist, nipping his neck, saying "I love you" every three minutes, and the blushes and smiles he elicited from Crona were worth it. Not his usual, refined self.

"What's gotten into you?" Crona asked as Kid attacked him with another swarm of kisses, pressing him against the wall of a restaurant in one of Death City's shopping centers.

"I can't show my boyfriend how much I love him?" Kid whispered, kissing his ear. He smiled at the squeak Crona made.

"O-Of course you can!" Crona said. "But usually—"

Kid cut him off with another long kiss. He felt his long arms wrap around his neck and neither of them could remember words for the next five minutes.

It was a good day.

"Hey darling," Kid said. "I'm not ready to go home yet, let's go see a movie." He chuckled at the dazed look on his lover's face. He watched as Crona blinked and tried to get his thoughts together.

"Movie? Us? Oh, okay!"

Kid took Crona's soft hand, holding it tightly, and took him to the theater across the street. He bought tickets to a random film; he probably wouldn't be paying much attention to it anyway, now that he thought about it. Oh well.

"Do you want some candy?" Kid asked softly, pointing at the colorful array inside the glass case at the concession stand. He looked up and saw Crona fidget. "What's wrong?"

"You've been spoiling me all day, and I'm still not sure how to deal with it…" he muttered. Kid smiled softly.

"Crona, I've been spoiling you every day for three years."

"I know!" Crona's response came out as an adorable whine. Kid watched as Crona buried his face into his sleeve, blushing furiously. He kissed his hair and bought a pack of Andes mints, which were Crona's favorite candy. Kid walked slowly because Crona was still clinging to his arm.

'_You're too adorable,'_ Kid thought, looking down at him. Crona exposed some of his reddened face and looked around.

"Want something from the gumball machine?" he asked softly.

"You don't have to buy me anything, dearest," Kid said. "And no thank you, gum is disgusting."

"Why do you think that?" Crona asked.

"Because people sit there chewing on it like cows; and it's loud, and popping bubbles is even more annoying," Kid said. "And there's spit and saliva all over the damn thing, and I simply find it unappealing in every way."

Crona giggled. "Oh, I see."

Kid found the correct theater and they sat down in the very back. The ads on the screen flashed by quietly with peaceful jazz music playing over the speakers. It was dim and the perfect environment to cuddle.

It was a good day, yes indeed.

Kid straightened his blazer and sat down in his seat, in the very center. He held Crona's hand and pulled him down gently next to him. He kissed his cheek, and as he moved, he noticed something was very wrong.

He moved his leg and noticed, wouldn't you know, a chewed piece of gum stuck to his slacks. A used, wet, sticky, disgusting, germ-infested piece of gum on his nice clean pants. His eyes widened in horror and he could feel Crona doing the same thing.

"Kid. Don't. Move. A. Muscle," the swordsman said softly, looking as if he wanted to prevent a panic attack. "Don't do anything…I-I'll go get a napkin from the lobby, okay?"

Kid's teeth clenched and he continued to stare at the gum in horror like a tarantula was crawling up his leg.

"Don't you dare leave me here, Crona," he said; his face even paler than usual.

"But…but…" They both sat there frozen in awkward horror, neither one of them moving a muscle. Kid tried to remain calm, but the longer he thought about where the gum had been, if and how it was going to come off, and the germs, he quickly started to have a meltdown. He started to scratch madly at the side of his head, trying to figure out what to do, trying not to think about the sticky, vile, disgusting piece of crap stuck to his pants.

"Ah…um…I'm sorry, Kid, I'm sorry!" And with that, Crona leapt from his seat and took off down the stairs, disappearing quickly out of the theater. Kid spat up blood and collapsed onto the floor.

"I've been abandoned!" he sobbed. "I'm alone in this tragedy, with soiled pants, deserted by my loved one. I don't deserve to live anymore!" He continued scratching at his head and melting in his own angst, trying to pull himself together, but what good of a Reaper was he with gum stuck to him? Every inch of his appearance had to be perfect or he might as well be out on the curb with the garbage.

"I lived a good life. Good-bye world. Good-bye Crona. I loved you with all my heart." He sat up and plucked the straw from the soda they had bought and stared at it, wondering how he could make use of this.

"Uh, Kid? What are you doing?"

Kid looked up and saw Soul and Maka standing over him. The speaker had been Soul, who was giving him a thoroughly confused look.

"I have gum stuck to my pants and Crona abandoned me," he said, wiping tears from his eyes. "He doesn't deserve to be with a lover that has gum on him, so he left. I'm trash, Soul." He held the straw out to him. "Just end me now."

Soul looked at the flimsy piece of plastic and tilted his head. "Huh?"

"You're silly Kid, it's just gum," Maka piped in. "It'll come off if you scrub it, people step in it all the time, it's not a big deal to get it on your pants. And I'm sure Crona will be back, he wouldn't abandon you. Come on, stand up and Soul will take you to the bathroom."

"I will?" her weapon said, giving her a comedic look of skepticism.

"Yes!" Maka said. "Please help him with this before he flips out. And hurry up, the movie is starting soon." She pulled Kid off the ground and Soul, grumbling irritably, pulled the Reaper into the bathroom. Kid barely noticed what was happening. He blinked in the bright lights of the bathroom once they entered. At least the place was clean. He leaned against the wall and glared into the middle distance. He heard water running and Soul came over with a damp piece of paper towel.

"Hold still or something," the scythe said, kneeling down. Kid jerked away from him and scuttled to the other side of the bathroom.

"Don't come near me with that, I don't know where it's been!" he said. Soul's eyes narrowed and one eyebrow cocked slightly.

"Are you kidding me right now?"

"No of course not!" he hissed. Soul tried to come at him again with the wet paper towel and Kid ran away once again toward the door. The scythe beat him to it and blocked the door, standing in front of it. "I'm missing a good robot movie because of you; now hold still so I can get back inside." He lunged at Kid and the Reaper dodged into a stall. He climbed up the wall and hunkered on the thin, dividing wall between stalls, glaring at him.

"Get away from me, Soul!" he exclaimed.

"How are you balancing on that thing?" was Soul's intelligent response.

Suddenly the bathroom door opened. Kid's vision snapped to it and he saw Crona come into the bathroom, panting a bit. "Where's Kid?" he asked. Soul pointed upward and Crona was met with the humorous vision of Soul standing in front of stalls looking pissed, and his boyfriend curled up near the ceiling like some kind of creepy, gigantic spider.

"Kid, please come down," Crona pleaded. "I left to get some napkins from the concession stand!"

"You left me!" Kid cried. "In my time of need!"

"I only did it to help you! I was gone for five minutes!"

"I'm gum-covered garbage, just leave me!" Kid whined.

"I'm sorry, Kid. I'll never leave you again. Please come down?" Crona gave a cute, heart-warming smile and Kid couldn't resist that. Not in a million years. Soul watched this drama in front of him with a look of disbelief on his face.

"Idiots."

Kid slowly climbed down from the wall and held his leg out to Crona, looking extremely nervous. Soul sighed loudly.

"For the love of Shinigami, it's gum, not a freakin' amputation!" he said. Kid covered his eyes and looked away, not wanting to see this. Crona peeled the gum from his pants and lightly scrubbed the spot with hot water and soap. You couldn't even tell it had been there.

"Done," he said. Kid looked and inspected his pants.

"Well done Crona, thank you!" Kid said. "You saved me!"

"I-It was nothing, I did it out of love!" he said. Kid bundled him up into his arms and kissed him happily.

"That's the same thing I just tried to do!" Soul said. They both ignored him. Kid kissed Crona happily and nuzzled his nose. "Let's go home, I don't want to see the movie anymore," he said.

"Okay," Crona said, not looking too disappointed. Kid kissed him all over his face and tugged him merrily out of the bathroom.

"This is why I don't chew gum, Crona. It makes a horrific mess."

Soul was left standing alone in the bathroom, the corners of his mouth drooping and one eye twitching.

"Idiots."


End file.
